3/26/15
What finally got me to my first OA meeting?
Desperation, self loathing and fear. After spending most of the last twenty plus years battling weight loss and and weight gain, I am the heaviest I have ever been. A sense of hopelessness that I have never felt before has settled into my heart. I hate my weakness and in turn hate myself. How can I love others if I do not love myself? I fear this is the end. I fear I will never again have the strength to loose weight. The little devil on my shoulder tells me, "Why bother? You will only gain it all back plus more. Why put yourself through that again?" I don't want to believe him, but I do. This scares me! I have never given up before, and I won't now! This is what got me to my first OA meeting, OA is my last hope.
What was my first OA meeting like?
I didn't like the meeting, but I didn't dislike it either. I found myself guarded and quiet, wondering how this group could possibly help me. There were four other people at the meeting, I wish there had been more there.
The quote, "Fake it till you make it." was mentioned, so I will continue to go to the OA meetings in the hopes that OA can change my life. I didn't realize that a Higher Power is such a large part of the OA program. Of course my Higher Power is God.
What finally got me to my first OA meeting?
Desperation, self loathing and fear. After spending most of the last twenty plus years battling weight loss and and weight gain, I am the heaviest I have ever been. A sense of hopelessness that I have never felt before has settled into my heart. I hate my weakness and in turn hate myself. How can I love others if I do not love myself? I fear this is the end. I fear I will never again have the strength to loose weight. The little devil on my shoulder tells me, "Why bother? You will only gain it all back plus more. Why put yourself through that again?" I don't want to believe him, but I do. This scares me! I have never given up before, and I won't now! This is what got me to my first OA meeting, OA is my last hope.
What was my first OA meeting like?
I didn't like the meeting, but I didn't dislike it either. I found myself guarded and quiet, wondering how this group could possibly help me. There were four other people at the meeting, I wish there had been more there.
The quote, "Fake it till you make it." was mentioned, so I will continue to go to the OA meetings in the hopes that OA can change my life. I didn't realize that a Higher Power is such a large part of the OA program. Of course my Higher Power is God.